For me, this blog is about capturing my life, what I'm going through - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly blessed beyond measure and SO thankful that my diagnosis wasn't anything worse but the past few weeks have been HARD for me. It may look like everything is perfect by the photos on my social media pages, but just imagine a few things...
Imagine losing your car keys for 6 months and there is no spare key. Being unable to drive for 6 months has been such a struggle for me. I'm a GO-er and a DO-er and having to depend on others to get from place to place has been such a burden. I've learned to be an independent person and I'm not one to ask for help. Like I said, things could be 100 times worse but for me, in this moment, this is a struggle. It's hard for me to ask others for help even though so many have offered.
Imagine not being able to pick up your child because you're not able to lift more than 20 lbs due to the weight limit restriction after your surgery. Praise God I was cleared last Monday to lift my girls and you bet, I picked them up and squeezed them tight as soon as I got clearance from the doc. It felt amazing!
Imagine not being able to cheers with a glass of wine with your friends. There have been so many events and special occasions where I'd just like to enjoy a glass of wine with my girlfriends or family. Let's be honest, we all have bad/hard days and sometimes a nice lil cocktail would cheer us right up. I have acquired a taste for O'Douls so that'll do for now.
Imagine taking seizure meds that have your hormones, emotions, and sleepiness all over the place. Some days I need a nap. Some days I cry about the dumbest things. Poor Kyle never knows what he's going to get on any given day. I've heard from other people that have taken the same medication that it messed with their emotions as well. So ready to get off of these!
Thursday, I had an EEG done to determine what's going on with my brain waves currently. If all looks great, they will wean me off of my seizure medicine. Hallelujah! We won't know the results for a week. I feel like the minutes and hours are slowly going by and I can't wait to hear from my neurosurgeon and neurologist with the results. A part of me thinks the results will be great and then a part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up in the event that they're not. However, all of this is in God's hands and in His perfect timing.
This post isn't meant to be a "Debbie Downer" but it's release my feelings and boy do I feel better getting all of this off my chest. Today, for the first time in over 4-5 months, I worked out! Yep, I went to Gold's Gym and participated in one of my favorite classes, BODYFLOW! I definitely wasn't able to do it full out like I used to, but it felt great to stretch, breathe, and push my body just a tad in the right direction to get it back to a healthy lifestyle. And duh, of course I wore one of my favorite workout tanks and had a taco salad for lunch!
After lunch I told Kyle, "exercise gives you endorphins...endorphins make you happy...happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't!" LOL Name that movie!!
So, #therealreel is that God ultimately knows the timeline of this journey and I love the following Bible verses that have helped me...
Acts 1:7 "He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.'"
Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage."
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord and He heard my cry."
Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Thanks for sharing the real deal! Joining you in prayer for a good report and as one quote says, While you're waiting for God to open the next door, praise Him in the hallway." Even though life is tough right now, I still see lots of ways that you are taking care of yourself and others in healthy, happy ways!
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